This past weekend, I took a road trip to Virginia. As I loaded my suitcase, I was genuinely excited to see friends and get away for a bit before I start grad school. But I also took notice of the nervousness rising up in me, as my stomach churned and I tossed and turned the … Continue reading The Story I’ll Tell
Category: Chronic Illness
The “Dark Night of the Soul”
As I draw nearer to the day signifying seven months without nutrition, It is no doubt a miracle. Though my physical body is getting more and more fragile. I compensated with extra rest at first. Yet with each pressing hour, I find myself wandering beyond my bedroom walls Into the wilderness. Although lifting a finger … Continue reading The “Dark Night of the Soul”
“I LOVE ME”
For the past 26 years, I hated myself. I faithfully read scripture and devoted all my energy to loving God and others. But loving myself was a completely different story. Although, as God has been refining and reshaping me from the inside out, I am beginning to see myself the way He sees me. And … Continue reading “I LOVE ME”
L.O.V.E. W.E.L.L.
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Luke 5:31 The more I study scripture and specifically the life of Jesus, I find that Jesus spent time with all people, regardless of their status in society, level of education, abilities or disabilities, age, or color of skin. So, as a disciple … Continue reading L.O.V.E. W.E.L.L.
“Opening” Our Airway
Recently, I have been battling more and more problems with swallowing, choking, nausea, and vomiting. So, when my doctor placed an exploratory procedure on the table as an option, I felt the benefits outweighed the risks and I agreed to move forward with it. On the day of the procedure, my heart raced within me … Continue reading “Opening” Our Airway
Secrets to Perseverance
Sweat trickled down my back as the white coated man stepped in. Thankful to mask my tears, I made out mere muffles before realizing it was again just me and my white-walled room. More problems. More pain. More questions. Though still no answers. Instead, doctors continue to pass me off like a hot potato. As … Continue reading Secrets to Perseverance
Refusing to Run From Rest
Rest. Four familiar letters forming such a simple instruction, though commonly forgotten or pushed to the side by procrastination, especially by those of us who need it most. Even mentioning such, you might be squirming in your seat, tempted to keep on scrolling, believing, “Oh no. You don't know my schedule. That’s not for me.” … Continue reading Refusing to Run From Rest
Still… I Will Praise
Most know me as one who is optimistic, always trying to see the best in people and circumstances. Yet to say the past two weeks have been rocky is truly an understatement. Beyond the physical of navigating with merely two working limbs, shock, anger, and disappointment have knocked me off my feet, honestly leaving me … Continue reading Still… I Will Praise
Tears are okay, too
From the time I was small, toddling around in my diaper babbling “Bob Barker” or “Go Cats” with roaring blue Kentucky fans in the background, words have poured from my lips and fingertips effortlessly. Yet, all changed six days ago. Ambulance sirens pierced the brisk December air as my eyes were pried wide by the … Continue reading Tears are okay, too
Bigger Than I Thought
I was angry. Up until that point, I had remained strong, just going with the flow despite so many changes and tubes. Although as I sat in the blue infusion center chair that Friday afternoon with my nurses across from me, defeated from the unsuccessful sticks trying to get an IV for fluids, no restraint … Continue reading Bigger Than I Thought
Mess 2 Masterpiece 